What Parents Can Do

Parents must first recognize that their children are distressed.1 Children might exhibit unusual behavioral problems such as prolonged sadness or irritability, increased or decreased appetite, disrupted sleep patterns, an inability to concentrate, or abnormal performance in school. Older children may start to engage in high-risk behaviors such as acting recklessly, using harmful substances, becoming sexually active, or withdrawing from family, friends, and social situations.

You can help by knowing how to nurture your individual children. For example, you can teach your children, especially when they are young, descriptive words to identify the emotion they are feeling. Some of these words include sad, angry, frustrated, afraid, worried, and tense.

If your teenager begins to act recklessly after a traumatic situation, listen carefully to his or her words and emotions. As with younger children, help your teenager correctly identify his or her feelings. And be understanding, knowing that the traumatic event may have triggered the reckless behavior.

As you begin these conversations with your children, try to avoid moralizing and expressing anger, criticism, or sarcasm. Identify the hurt or pain your child is feeling and show empathy. You could start by saying, "I know you're sad that your friend died. I can only imagine how difficult that would be. I'm concerned that you are starting to drink alcohol as a reaction to your pain." Starting a conversation in a harsh manner rarely leads to good outcomes.